Sexsomnia

Vatsa,

I'm an incredibly light sleeper, so unless I was passed out drunk (which hasn't happened in ages, thank goodness), I would never be able to sleep through sex.

It's funny because it happened last night! I'd been feeling horny all evening but I couldn't get him interested, at all, and when he finally came to bed, he said that he just wanted to go to sleep (I was shamelessly begging for sex), so I kept reading my trashy romance novel and he drifted off to sleep.

About thirty minutes later, he rolled over, grabbed me by the waist, dragged me to him, and started playing with my breasts. I dropped the book and turned towards him and he started groping my ass. I could tell he was asleep because every once in-a-while he'd pause mid-grope and I'd have to wiggle my ass to get his hand moving again (yes, I completely egged him on). One thing led to another and soon enough, I had crawled on top of him and we were having sex. I'm pretty sure he woke up sometime before he came.

Of course, the first thing he said to me this morning was "You raped me last night!" Since it's our on-going joke--even if he's too tired for sex while he's awake, I just have to wait for him to fall asleep, start groping me and suddenly he's more than willing to have a good romp. I told him that he initiated it and it got even funnier because he responded, "No, I didn't. I was having a DREAM. An ass-groping dream."

"That wasn't a dream!"

"Oh."

That's usually how it goes the morning after sleep sex. I have to tell him how he initiated it, insist that it wasn't a dream, and then try to puzzle out if and when he actually woke up.

The only discernible difference between sleep sex and waking sex is that he's bizarrely aggressive during his sleep, but only when he's initiating it. He'll grab my breasts and start sucking on them out of NOWHERE but as soon as I respond and actually get things moving towards sex, he becomes very passive and pretty much lies back and lets me do all of the work. Which is fine by me.

When he's awake, he has a very normal sexual appetite and, thankfully, he doesn't often lie back and let me do all of the work when he's awake. He definitely participates more when he's awake. And he lasts longer when he's awake--last night he came almost instantly and I had to keep going a bit to get my orgasm but I can't really blame him for that because, you know, he was pretty much asleep. But when he's awake, he tries to hold off his orgasm until I've had a few.

And I'm pretty sure he's not pretending :) There have been some nights where he was pretending but this has been going on for so long that he can't fool me. There are little tells that I look for to check to see if he's really asleep, or faking it. When he's really asleep, his eyes are closed and he doesn't talk much--mostly mumbles incoherently. Plus, as I said, he'll sometimes just stop in the middle of whatever he was doing when he's asleep and go back into a deep sleep, and I'll have to prod him back into action. It's actually pretty simple--he's obviously not lucid when he's asleep.

Though, when he does fake it, and I can always tell because usually he'll say something coherent and that's a dead give-away that he's not asleep, and I'll make him to most of the work for trying to trick me. Since that's the main reason he'll fake being asleep--he knows that I'll climb on top of him and do all of the work if I think he's asleep. So, when he fakes, I tell him that it's his turn to do all of the work and MY turn to lie back and enjoy. :)

As for hobbies--he's obsessed with disc golf. Which involves throwing discs (similar to frisbees but not actual frisbees, and disc golfers get seriously pissed if you call them "frisbees") at metal cages. It's set up like regular golf--the baskets are holes, and there's a par for each hole and it bores the hell out of me. I've tried to go with him to the course a few times, he's even gotten me my own disc golf bag and I have a set of discs, but it's just not my thing at all. I can't throw worth a damn and then I get tired of retrieving my disc, only to throw it again.

He also plays a TON of video games. He's got all of the systems--X-Box 360, Wii, PS3, and sometimes we play together but he mostly plays on his own.

I enjoy dancing. I take dance classes--ballet and modern, and also belly-dancing. I love yoga but I no longer take any classes for it, and simply practice it on my own. I love the theater and being on-stage, basically performing in general. I'm shamelessly obsessed with karaoke. All things that my husband doesn't enjoy at all (I dragged him to the ballet once and that was a huge mistake). He enjoys private, at home performances, of course. I have all of the Carmen Electra Strip Aerobics videos, so I'll do a strip-tease for him, or a lap dance, or belly-dance for him but that's the extent of his interest in my hobby.

I read obsessively--four to five books a week (not an exaggeration) and I enjoy writing, as well. I'm working on a few things right now--a romance novel, a script and a non-fiction book. I'm always writing short stories and sending submissions to magazines and literary journals. I've gotten published a few times but have received far more rejection letters than I like to think about.

So, he plays disc golf while I go to dance class, then we both come home, and he disappears into his game room and I either read a book, or work on my writing. As I said, housemates who share a bed and have great sex.

Hope this email wasn't too long!

Camella