My Situation

Hola Vatsa,

I'd be glad to elaborate about my marital situation.

Lately, it feels like we are housemates who happen to share a bed and have really great sex. We lead completely different lives and he's become very hobby obsessed and I don't share in it. We try to become interested in each other's hobbies but we inevitably retreat back into them on our own, away from each other. Except when we have really great sex, which is fairly often. Five days a week, more on weekends. I have a voracious sexual appetite and he's more than glad to satisfy it (most of the time). On top of that, he also initiates sex while he's sleeping, and I'm a light sleeper, so it usually leads to sex but... sometimes he doesn't actually wake up.

It's hilarious. I subscribe to "Newsweek" (among many other magazines) and I actually read a story that had a name for this--sexsomnia. (It's on wikipedia.) People who have sex in their sleep. It's a legitimate sleep disorder and I about died laughing when I read about it because I thought it was so crazy that he has sex in his SLEEP. And I'm not sleeping. But, unlike most other wives whose husbands have this problem, I don't complain about it. It's rather nice.

So. Obviously, sex is not the problem. There are other reasons why (we have erotic, adventurous sex, as well... neither of us are afraid to speak up about our fantasies, desires and needs) but it's the rest of it that is all disconnected. We don't share our lives, and it's very strange. It can get lonely, and it's disappointing. And I hesitate to tell my friends because they are all shared, mutual friends, who love to gossip about each other and, most of whom have far worse marital problems.

Although it's not horrible, and I know it could be far worse.

Please feel free to talk about your situation more, if you'd like, or ask questions about mine. I would enjoy getting to know you a bit more, as well.

Camella